He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
