whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
