Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
