where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize