Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
