I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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