so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
