i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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