What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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