also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
