My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
