oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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