he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
