my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
