I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
