my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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