was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
