By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
