just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
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You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
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You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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