i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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