His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
