ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
