Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
