He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
