She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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