he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
