i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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