I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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