Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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