Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
