Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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