He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
