So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
NoShamevember. You game?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
