Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
