I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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