Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
