i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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