C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
