Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
