Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
