I seem to have left my pride at pride
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
