You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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