If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
