YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
