i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we're making bets on your personal life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
