I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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