Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
