Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
