you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
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After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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