i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
