there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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