Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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