the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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