Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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